///Robot Riley///

22nd February 2010

Post with 18 notes

Big Question Big Answer

This was originally one of those Q&A posts, but it was so long that I decided to put it in Text Post form. So here goes.

Anonymous asked: why dont you make youtube videos anymore? they are really quite excellent

Okay, here we go. You asked for it.
First off I would just like to say thank you! I’m glad you like them. I make them for you and for me.
Basically, every reason I have for not making videos like I used to can be easily organized into a large manila folder labeled: “Get over yourself, Riley.”
 There’s laziness too, but that’s boring and I don’t think I really need to explain that. So here some other reasons I can give you…

REASON 1: I LOVE MAKING VIDEOS TOO MUCH TO MAKE VIDEOS.
Originally, I began making videos to make my friends laugh, keep in touch with friends I missed, and give myself something to look forward to and do during my days off from my not-so-great work situation. Making those videos was a great way to relieve stress. I would go crazy to keep from…going crazy? Though after a few months, I got too obsessed with the grossness of the YouTube community. You know, what with always pining for views and subscribers, even if it means sacrificing quality and creativity. My weekend hobby became a strict weekly deadline. I scrapped ideas if I wasn’t sure it would get me a good amount of views. My stress relief was starting to cause more stress. So I stopped.
REASON 2: I AM INSANE.
I had a very specific, ritualistic method to my video making process back in my room in my mom’s house in Albany, California. I would fold up my futon and slide it up against the wall. I would hang a bed sheet (or one time, for EMERGENCY BROADCAST, aluminum foil) behind me to block out the backlight from my windows and to serve as a backdrop. I would place the huge cardboard box that came with Rock Band in front of me, and place my Macbook on top. Behind the box went my green plastic hamper. On top of that went a wooden tray. Balanced upon the tray would be a desk lamp on top of a miniature folding chair. That was my lighting. I would shoot the video and edit it all right then and there immediately afterward, still in costume.
When I moved to my apartment in New York, I knew I wanted to keep making videos, but I just didn’t feel comfortable. I liked that I had a big white wall behind me, but I was just so used to goofing off in my bed. Now I was sitting on a milk crate in a strange room in Brooklyn. It felt off.
I also got self conscious about being too loud and saying weird things with my roommates and neighbors hearing in. I would always close myself off from the world while making a video. It felt more difficult to do that when I was the new guy.
REASON 3: MY COMEDY MISTRESS IS A BASEMENT IN NYC
So I moved to New York and began taking classes at Upright Citizens Brigade in January 2009, and it changed my life and so on and so on. I immediately cannonballed into the New York scene/community and I’ve been doing my best to swim around. I see improv shows five nights a week, usually. I’m in a group now. I’ve made a lot of friends through improv. I may not be a regular performer, but I definitely feel involved and included in a great community of funny people. It’s something I wanted so bad just two years ago. Comedy is still my release in life, but now it feels more like a team effort. I don’t have to shut my door and talk to my computer to make myself/950 subscribers laugh. I can stand in a line and sit in a seat and see some great minds do some amazing stuff.
So, the downside is that I put all of my focus into improv. And that isn’t really a downside when you consider that it has brought so much joy and personal growth to my life. It’s just that I also felt that making those kind videos was now behind me. I would think funny things, but I would never go “Oh, this could be a new video.”
4. SELF DOUBT IS A MOTHERFUCKER.
So now I find myself hanging out with all of these talented funny folks, and a good number of them make truly great videos. It seems like everyone I meet at the training center or in line for Harold Night is a great actor, writer, editor, and promoter of their content. So I started doing what you should never do as an artist: comparing yourself to others. Comparing myself to people who have been doing this for years! Professionals, even! It’s silly, but it’s what I did. I started to feel really dumb for being so proud of my videos. They’re all pretty much the same, you know. What used to be an icebreaker for me back in Albany became my little secret in New York. I think it meant way more than it should when guys like Rob Stern and Bluvband told me they watched and liked my videos. Only a week after they said such nice things, I was in my room and I thought to myself: “I should just make a new one.” Then I found a pair of glasses I hadn’t used before and picked up my Amazon Kindle.
5. SO WHAT NOW?
I’m not going to worry about the production value of my silly little hobby. I’m not going to discourage myself from putting an idea out there just because other people make fabulous work. In fact, I should be trying to do stuff with them, if possible. I have a lot to learn. I’m going to make a video when I feel like it. I’d like it if more people saw my videos, but who wouldn’t? I appreciate the views that I do get. And the comments. It seems like some of these freaks really like me.
I’m taking Sketch Writing 101 at UCB in March. I’m so excited for it. Hopefully it’ll spark some more motivation to write. Also, it’ll be nice to learn how to write a sketch that’s more complex than “Guy with funny hat/glasses/hair talks to camera, something goes wrong, guy gets mad, cut to end title.”
Did you find the answer you were looking for somewhere in there, Mr./Ms. Anonymous?

Tagged: rileyquestionsimprovthoughts