///Robot Riley/// - Are the Knicks getting Lebron James? Also, make up and describe 5 new Warriors gangs right now! Please?

19th May 2010

Question with 9 notes

alexpereira asked: Are the Knicks getting Lebron James? Also, make up and describe 5 new Warriors gangs right now! Please?

I am not a sports fan, so I don’t have great insight. Here’s what I know:

-The Knicks don’t win very often.

-A lot of New Yorkers seem to think that if/when he moves to the Knicks, he will graduate to “global sports icon” status.

-LeBron James, (barely) arguably, is alraedy a “global sports icon,” right? He’s superhuman. So it doesn’t really matter what team he’s on, as far as recognition. In fact, it might not be good for him to be on a team not known for winning very often!

Would he make more money playing for the Knicks? Probably, but I don’t know the numbers. I don’t think he’ll move to New York just because. Just because. (Also the NYmag article written for him was duuuumb.)

Gangs That Weren’t Featured in The Warriors, But Should Have Been:

The Meatheads. Crazy butchers! Blood-spattered aprons, white paper hats, knives, meat tenderizers. Easy.
Yellow Cab. Cigars, floppy hats, taxis, excellent communication skills (taxi radio thingers would be a super advantage) and control over huge amounts of turf.
The Park Slope Mommies and Daddies. Probably wouldn’t work because PS wasn’t all Mom’d out in the ‘70’s, right? (Spoken like a true/fake Brooklynite.) Either way, it’s a funny image in my head. Beating people up with folded-up strollers, throwing hot chai, yoga, co-op, etc.
The Undead. Not zombies. Just dudes with the corny old holes-in-the-sheet ghost costumes. And they would make moaning “whooooaaaaas!” everywhere they went. And they would fall down a lot, and get mercilessly beat up and killed.
NY1 Local News Street Team. Oh, man! I just got so excited as I was having this idea. They would roll up in their news van and just wreck shit up. And then they report from the scene of the crime.

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