///Robot Riley///

THE LOOT! HE’S GOT THE LOOT!

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:24:36 -0500

THE LOOT! HE’S GOT THE LOOT!

http://failin.gs/profile/robotriley

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 11:13:11 -0500

Sort of like Formspring or questions on Tumblr, but just for straight up criticizing people. I am excited and scared. This could be a fun eye opener or it could get real ugly. Probably one, then the other very soon after. Hit me.

I’ll be alright.

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 10:42:50 -0500

I’ll be alright.

GO LONG.

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 10:49:13 -0500

GO LONG.

Super helpful. I love meticulously organizing and categorizing...

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 21:19:55 -0500

Super helpful.

I love meticulously organizing and categorizing my iTunes. It’s a great way to procrastinate.

Why am I procrastinating?

I’m writing a sketch for my new sketch class!

You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.

How much cash do you give the wizard?

(I can't take credit for this, unfortunately. Credit goes to Chuck Klosterman.)

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 20:26:18 -0500

A good, solid one hundred dollars. I haven’t been thinking very highly of myself in that respect for a while now. I feel like I need all the help I can get. I probably shouldn’t admit this on my blog.

Where are you intern-ing at?

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 20:15:19 -0500

An online financial news network. I edit video segments and upload them to YouTube. I also buy a breakfast sandwich every morning and use the brown paper bag to make a silly hat or mask.

"After 40 years in Hollywood, Jack Palance finally got a best supporting actor Oscar in 1992 for his..."

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 23:19:38 -0500

“After 40 years in Hollywood, Jack Palance finally got a best supporting actor Oscar in 1992 for his performance in ‘City Slickers.’ He reacted by saying “I crap bigger than him” in reference to host Billy Crystal then dropped to the floor for several one-armed push-ups.”

- The Huffington Post.

Looks like I have a DVD to add to my queue.

If you could take over any country in the world, which one would you choose?

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 22:37:46 -0500

AMSTERDAM, BRUH

do people ever recognize you?

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 21:28:48 -0500

It has taken me so long to answer this question because I feel like a douchebag answering it.

But, yeah. A couple of times.

I should clarify that the only people that have recognized me are friends of friends who have seen my videos before meeting me. I’ve never had some random person walk up to me and go “hey do you make youtube movies?”

After high school, I stuck around and got jobs and lived in my mom’s house and made videos. A couple friends of mine who had not yet graduated spread the news of my videos to my alma mater (lol), and they sort of caught on. If only high school kids thought I was cool WHILE I was a high school student! I shake my fist like an old man at the notion.

SO ANYWAY, it’s 2008 and I’m standing outside of my house waiting for the carpool to pick me up. Some high school kid in his car slows down, rolls down his window and shouts “Hey! I like your YouTube movies!”

It was such a nice thing. It still makes me feel good.

Another time, while visiting home for a few weeks in the summer, I was walking to 7-11 when a group of maybe five kids stop and wave to me from across the street and yell “Hi Robot Riley!”

So silly.

k so I fully expect to see you on SNL someday
then i can be a total fucking hipster about it like "WE LIKED HIM BACK WHEN HE WAS ROBOT RILEY DOING MUSTACHE WATER ON YOUTUBE"
also east bay, represent

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 21:19:35 -0500

Word up!

you should cut your hair shorter, to how it was before... no question, just do it

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 21:07:18 -0500

In general, I agree with you. But give me an example. I’ve had varying degrees of short hair. I’ve had it buzzed pretty short, but I don’t like that. I have a funny shaped head.

The last few short haircuts I’ve gotten have been pretty short everywhere but in the front, and it does a little flippy up there.

I’m open to more constructive criticism.

Photo

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 12:20:55 -0500

Raaaaar

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:04:00 -0500

Raaaaar

Whatabeard!

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 11:05:53 -0500

Whatabeard!

February 2010

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 19:10:00 -0500

This year, I decided to write very short reviews of each movie I watch. They can be read here.

February

(Chronological)

In the Loop
Shine a Light
Stripes
Moon
Amélie
Justice: A Cross the Universe

Best movie I had never seen before: Amélie
Best movie I had already seen: N/A
Most pleasant surprise: Tie Between Moon and Justice: A Cross the Universe
Biggest disappointment: Stripes
Worst movie: Stripes (Don’t Hate)
Movie that more people should know about: Moon

This movie made me…

Envy the amount of energy a group of senior citizens puts into performing: Shine a Light
Want to own a leather jacket: Justice: A Cross the Universe
Excited about plot twists again: Moon
Bored (And guilty for feeling bored because Zach Woods is in it): In the Loop
Wish I was French and “cool”: Justice: A Cross the Universe
Wish I was French and “cute”: Amélie
Wish I was Bill Murray: Stripes

Nutella, raspberry, and coconut cannolis from a bakery in New...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 12:23:24 -0500

Nutella, raspberry, and coconut cannolis from a bakery in New Haven, CT’s Little Italy. Needless to say, my one-day pizza road trip to Connecticut with the PizzaMoto crew was awesome.

Mom has the most epic weird dreams / Mom always mentions them out of nowhere.

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 18:31:25 -0500

Riley: This weekend I watched the greatest two part episode of BSG. Almost made me cry.
Amazing.
Mom: where are you?
I mean where are you in BSG?
Riley: I just finished the 1st disc of season 3
Mom: really I thought you were further along
Riley: It's so amazing
Mom: it's so cool. I love it.
last night part of my dream was conan obrien in a bathrobe but I think he was a woman.

Audio

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 14:36:49 -0500

Last one. NOW IT’S THE WEEKEND.

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 15:22:53 -0500

Last one. NOW IT’S THE WEEKEND.

///Robot Riley///

THE LOOT! HE’S GOT THE LOOT!

http://failin.gs/profile/robotriley

I’ll be alright.

GO LONG.

Super helpful. I love meticulously organizing and categorizing...

Where are you intern-ing at?

"After 40 years in Hollywood, Jack Palance finally got a best supporting actor Oscar in 1992 for his..."

If you could take over any country in the world, which one would you choose?

do people ever recognize you?

k so I fully expect to see you on SNL someday then i can be a total fucking hipster about it like "WE LIKED HIM BACK WHEN HE WAS ROBOT RILEY DOING MUSTACHE WATER ON YOUTUBE" also east bay, represent

you should cut your hair shorter, to how it was before... no question, just do it

Photo

Raaaaar

Whatabeard!

February 2010

Nutella, raspberry, and coconut cannolis from a bakery in New...

Mom has the most epic weird dreams / Mom always mentions them out of nowhere.

Audio

Last one. NOW IT’S THE WEEKEND.

k so I fully expect to see you on SNL someday
then i can be a total fucking hipster about it like "WE LIKED HIM BACK WHEN HE WAS ROBOT RILEY DOING MUSTACHE WATER ON YOUTUBE"
also east bay, represent